That long list of ‘what ifs’ can be quite intimidating when you’re about to go on your first date.
What if your personalities don’t meet?
What if they’re not well mannered?
What if they stand you up?
With so many questions buzzing around in your head, it’s natural for you to feel a little (read: a LOT) nervous before your first date. But when that nervousness evolves into full-blown anxiety, that’s when you should get help.
For now, sit back, grab a glass of water, and read the following tips on how to effectively tackle your first-date anxiety.
What to Do When You Start Feeling Anxious before Your First Date
1. Recognize Anxious Thoughts and Learn How to Perceive Them
We are our worst critics. And when we’re anxious, those negative thoughts become even harsher, telling us that anything we do will not end well. Learn to recognize them. These thoughts may be based on past negative experiences, but this doesn’t mean you should let them influence your future thoughts. Rather than dwelling on those thoughts, replace each anxious statement with an answer. So for example,
What if our personalities don’t match?
The answer? You know what they say, opposites attract.
2. Release those Endorphins
A few hours before your date, go for a jog, exercise or try some yoga. Endorphins released during physical activity can have a great impact on your mental health and mood. You’ll see a lot of difference in your attitude and perspective once you sweat a little. Take a shower after and then get ready. You’ll feel active, rejuvenated and ready to face the first step in the dating game.
3. Learn Your Lessons
You’re thinking positively, you’ve exercised a lot but you can still feel those negative ideas niggling in your brain. Use them as learning opportunities. If those thoughts are telling you that something could go wrong, focus on what could go wrong. The past is a great teacher. It gives us the chance to understand and change what we couldn’t before. Use the opportunity so the same mistakes aren’t made again.
4. Remind yourself that it’s Only One Date
One date is not going to ruin the fun for life. Realistically speaking, it’s just a few hours which you’ll spend in someone’s company. After that, you’ll either want to further the connection, or you’ll say goodbye. It is just one date. Repeat the phrase and get on with it.
5. Be Realistic
You’re on the hunt for the best partner. Realistically speaking, you are going to find a few good people and a few bad people before you find the perfect person for your life. Manage your expectations and be prepared. Think about it this way; either it will be a fun date or a boring date. Nothing worse will happen.
6. Be Calm and Focused
Before leaving the house, brace yourself and encourage yourself with positive reinforcement. Be calm, be kind to yourself and be comforting. It pays to be your own personal cheerleader. Tell yourself, “I am amazing” and “I am going to have a fun time tonight.” Work through your anxiety and don’t let it push you down.
Get Help from an Expert Anxiety Counselor
As an expert in anxiety therapy in Palo Alto with two decades of experience, I’ve helped many individuals get over their fear and anxiety by encouraging them to follow some simple yet effective tips.
Battling anxiety is not impossible if you get help. With my help and the above tips to guide you through, you’ll always have the support you need to become stronger and braver. You can do it!