Depression may not as often be diagnosed in men as in women, but that does not mean they don’t go through it. Depression in men is almost as common as it is in women. The only difference is that women readily accept their condition and reach out for help – men don’t – and majority of the times men don’t even realize they’re depressed.
However, they do show signs and these “signs” dramatically impact their relationships – especially that between spouses. Since men tend to externalize their distress, it is common for them to blame their partners for all the troubles in their lives, which eventually leads to a rift in the marital relationship.
Men have a habit of hiding their suffering behind the masks of anger and grandiosity. It is not overnight that a perfectly healthy relationship becomes sour. Depression in men builds up over time, until it develops into a monster that gradually begins gnawing on the very foundations of a marital relationship.
“He has become so distant”, “He disregards my sexual advances”, “He has become too picky and irritable” – these are the most common complaints women have about their men when confiding to a therapist – and they don’t happen just like that.
Since most men wouldn’t admit to or know the fact that they might be going through depression, it is important to pay attention to the overt and covert red flags they display from time to time. These symptoms may include:
The Overt Symptoms
- Chronic fatigue
- Prolonged sadness
- Changes in eating and sleeping habits
- Avoiding intimacy
The Covert Symptoms
- Social withdrawal and isolation (even from family)
- Irritable and/or violent behavior
- Increased alcoholism and promiscuity
- High emotional sensitivity
- Loss of motivation
Depression is a widespread disorder that is treatable. You only need to reach out for help. However, it is important not to confuse short lived fluctuations in the mood with depression. If you or your partner has been continuously displaying any of the above mentioned symptoms, it is wise to consult a therapist as early as possible.
We, at Silicon Valley Marriage Counseling believe overcoming depression can make a world of difference to your married life. Whether through male depression treatment, couples’ therapy or family therapy, we help you identify the impact of your anxiety and depression on your life, your career, your social relationships, and marriage. Our goal is to help you to find the happiness and the lasting love and intimacy you deserve.