Attraction is a complicated matter. Although people value personality traits such as intelligence, humor, and kindness, the fact that they aren’t physically attracted may keep them from pursuing a relationship.
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Understanding Emotional Neglect: Signs You’re Neglecting Your Partner
Failing to provide the emotional support that is expected of you in a relationship is referred to as emotional neglect.
Some psychologists consider emotional neglect as a mild form of emotional abuse. Any sort of emotional pain triggered by the actions of a partner can be considered emotional abuse; therefore, emotional neglect is also abuse.
Consistent emotional neglect will create a wedge between partners overtime and may break their relationship.
Here are some telltale signs that you may be emotionally neglecting your partner:
Infrequent intimacy
Intimacy is a necessary component of a romantic relationship. If you’re no longer as intimate as you once were with your partner, it’s a red flag. Sure, life is stressful and you’re both busy but you should want to make time for each other. Intimacy is needed to connect with your partner at a physical and emotional level.
It’s one thing when both you and your partner are too caught up with other things and there’s a mutual understanding that you’re busy. But if your partner is sitting around waiting for you, it becomes a problem. They’re expecting intimacy and you’re letting them down.
Show You Care; Ask About Their Day
Your spouse’s life may not be that interesting but it’s important to ask about their day to show them that you care about what’s going on in their lives. When you don’t ask about their day, they’ll feel like you aren’t interested in what they do when you’re not around.
Make it a point to ask about their interests to remind them that you do care about what matters to them.
You’re Stuck in a Routine: How to Get out of a Marriage Rut
Married couples often struggle with keeping things interesting. Having lived together for so many years, it’s only natural for people to fall into a routine. As great as the stability of marriage is, going through the same stuff day after day can get repetitive and dull.
At the beginning of a relationship you pull all stops to create amazing memories and make your partner feel special but after years of being together, you no longer feel the urge to be spontaneous and create new memories. The problem with this is that you and your partner will start looking for new things elsewhere.
Don’t be surprised if your partner seems drawn to someone else who brings back the element of novelty in their lives.
If you’re in the relationship for the long-run, be prepared to make the effort to keep things fresh and interesting; no one wants to feel like they’re wasting their life away by being stuck in a rut.
How to Bring Back that First Infatuation
Here are some simple ways to bring back that excited feeling for your spouse:
- Plan a date night
- Sounds too easy to be true but try it!
- Go back to the basics and ask questions about your spouse
- Sometimes we get so busy in life people stop trying or forget to try and connect with a spouse. People change in marriage and maybe it’s time to get to know your partner again.
- Initiate things
- If you are not the one to usually initiate things, why not try it? This could be initiating a touch or something as simple as spontaneously buying their favorite candy bar.
Heal Your Relationship with Couples Counseling
Azizeh Rezaiyan is a marriage counselor at Silicon Valley Marriage Counseling based in Palo Alto in the Bay Area. She specializes in couple’s counselling, family meditation, anxiety treatments and other psychotherapy treatments.
Call (650) 206-9973 to book an appointment.
Reconnecting Post Separation: 5 Things That Will Help You Heal
Divorce rates and related trends in the US have fluctuated in the past decade and a half according to statistics. Divorce is not half as much of a taboo today as it once was. Almost half of all marriages will end in divorce or separation. At the same time this makes it no less emotionally complicated, stressful and at times heartbreaking. It’s crucial to know what the best choice is for you.
Deciding to get a divorce can be a pretty huge decision. About as huge as deciding to get married, frankly speaking! For this reason, people sometimes opt for a legal separation before opting for an all out divorce.
So Your Partner is Asexual—How Do You Cope?
You thought you’d finally found your soulmate—only to find out that they’re asexual. What do you do now?
Asexuality is sometimes referred to as ace; people who are asexual feel little or no sexual desires, even to partners they may connect to emotionally. Their lack of desire causes all kinds of complications in their sexual relationships.
So what can do you do when you find out your partner is asexual? Let’s take a look:
Dealing with the Aftermath: How to Talk to Your Kids about Infidelity
The divorce rate in America is 2.9 per 1000 total population. It might seem like a small percentage, but considering the marriage rate is 5.1 per 1000 total population, it shows us the reality that half the marriages end in divorce. A common reason for marriages to end in divorce is infidelity.
A person’s decision to step out of their marriage can finish what they’ve spent years building. Although you could get infidelity therapy to give your marriage a fighting chance, many couples choose to walk away. Apart from the couple itself, their children are affected the most in the aftermath of infidelity. They’re also smarter than we think, so hiding it from them can do more harm than good.
Here’s how to talk to them about a sensitive topic like this:
Do It Together
It might seem difficult to do, but it’s best if both parents are there to tell the kids what happened and why there might be tension in the house and between the parents. Kids are just as protective of their parents as their parents are of them. If just one parent speaks to them they might become defensive of the hurt parent which can ruin their relationship with the other.
Image Alt text: parents talking to their child about infidelity following the advice of infidelity therapy
Image title: conversation-between-parents-and-children
Avoid Any Badmouthing
If the hurt parent has decided to speak to the kids about the infidelity, they should make sure not to shed the unfaithful parent in a bad light. This can confuse the kids and make them feel like they’re betraying their hurt parent if they continue to have a relationship with the other parent. This is something you’ll be advised to do everywhere you go for infidelity therapy in Palo Alto or any other city.
Respond to Questions
This will be a confusing time for the kids, and they’ll likely have a lot of questions. They might also take it personally. Be available to answer their questions and comments while ensuring you don’t come off as defensive and don’t justify or condemn any actions.
Go to Family Therapy
Sometimes emotions run so high it feels impossible to get the words out to your kids. If you’re going through something similar, try family relationship counseling to help you in the process. They’ll be impartial and have the expertise to deal with a situation like this.
Infidelity Therapy in Palo Alto
Silicon Valley Marriage Counseling is a marriage guidance counseling in Palo Alto led by English and Farsi-speaking therapist Azizeh Rezaiyan. Azizeh uses her 20 years of experience to help couples build healthier relationships and a better future together.
Azizeh, a trusted marriage counseling therapist in Palo Alto, has been helping couples find happiness in their marriage again for decades and find a solution for infidelity.
Contact us today to book an appointment for infidelity therapy in Palo Alto.
