Couples who have experienced infidelity have to work together and have tough conversations with each other—no matter how uncomfortable they may be.
Here are conversations all couples should go through when dealing with infidelity.
1. Go Through the Details
Partners that have been cheated on, go through a roller coaster of emotions. They try desperately to make sense of the situation and understand why it happened. The couple will have you go through the details of the affair. From how the cheating partner met the other person to why it happened, all the details will need to be provided.
The cheater will need to be honest about how many times they’ve gone behind their partner’s back. People that have been cheated on usually want to know everything; the details may be hard for them to listen to, but it leaves little to the imagination. It’s better for them to know exactly what happened.
2. Determine What’s Missing in the Relationship
People cheat for a variety of reasons; usually unaddressed issues in a marriage build a wedge between the partners and this causes them to drift apart.
By taking a closer look at their marriage and communicating openly with each other, the partners can identify problems in their marriage.
Decide Whether You Want to Remain in the Relationship
For some couples, cheating means the end of the relationship; the partner that has been cheated on knows that they won’t be able to trust the cheater again and no longer wants to be in a relationship. In such situations, it’s best for the couple to part ways.
Other people want to remain in the relationship even after they’ve been cheated on. They want to work address the problems and find it within themselves to forgive their parents.
If both partners want to stay in the relationship, they’ll have to figure out how to make sure infidelity never happens again.
3. Consider Counseling
Couples dealing with infidelity are overwhelmed with emotions; they aren’t in the best position to make rational decisions.
Working with a marriage counselor allows the couple to see their relationship through the eyes of an outsider. Relationship counselors offer an unbiased perspective; they treat both partners equally.
Under their guidance, it becomes easier for the couple to understand each other’s views. In addition to helping couples overcome infidelity, relationship counselors also emphasize the importance of self-growth and teach the couple useful communication tools.
Are you looking for a trusted relationship counselor?
Azizeh is a marriage counselor at Silicon Valley Marriage Counseling based in Palo Alto in the Bay Area. She specializes in helping couples move past infidelity and rebuild trust. She also has training in training in cross-cultural marriage counseling.
Call (650) 206-9973 to book an appointment.