New relationships are always fun. The first date, first kiss, and first ‘I love you’s will leave butterflies in your stomach. But when do you separate the butterflies from the queasy feeling in your belly that’s telling you that something’s wrong?
It’s incredibly easy to see toxic signs in a partner from the outside. However, when you’re in a relationship, those clear lines can get incredibly blurry, causing you to remain with someone even when they aren’t the right fit for you.
However, establishing what constitutes a red flag early on can help you dodge a bullet. Here are some early relationship red flags to look out for.
All Their Exes Were ‘Crazy’
You’ll rarely find someone who speaks in completely pleasant words when describing their exes. After all, a relationship ending often means there was a conflict of interest or major heartbreak! However, someone who is always badmouthing their exes might be exhibiting major red flags.
Disliking your ex is not an uncommon feeling. But to constantly talk negatively about everyone you dated can be a cause for concern. It’s important to acknowledge how you might have messed up in a relationship and express gratitude for the love you once had for someone. Constantly badmouthing every person someone has dated often means that they’re not ready to take responsibility for any wrongdoings on their end.
They Don’t Respect Boundaries
Consent is a building block of every successful and healthy relationship. Many people misunderstand consent to only be limited to the bedroom. However, how your partner responds to your boundaries—even in non-intimate situations—can set a precedent for your relationship’s dynamic.
If your partner continually makes fun of something you’re uncomfortable about, even after you repeatedly ask them to stop, that’s a violation of your consent. You should never have to beg someone to respect your boundaries because eventually, you will give up and let them make you uncomfortable.
That’s why it’s crucial that you cut ties with a romantic partner who makes you uncomfortable rather than respecting your wishes.
You Have To Hide Things
A controlling partner may seem endearing in the beginning, but you’ll soon start to lose your agency and start hiding away parts of yourself that you were once proud of. It could be something as small as visiting a friend your partner dislikes or pursuing a hobby they frown upon. When you find yourself acting cautious and secretive around someone you should trust, it’s time to walk away.
Walking away is easier said than done, especially for victims of toxic relationships. Sometimes, you might even dismiss the red flags and your concerns. If you ever find yourself having second thoughts, it’s time to visit a professional counselor who can help you clear your confusion.
If you’re looking for individual or couples counseling in Palo Alto, get in touch with us at Silicon Valley Marriage Counseling. We provide a safe space for individuals to vent their concerns and get the guidance they need to control their life and relationship. Contact the center today to book your appointment.