Marriage Counsel 101: 5 Things A Couples Therapist Could Help You Out With

Marriage Counsel 101: 5 Things A Couples Therapist Could Help You Out With

There really is no ceiling to the number of things a qualified and competent couple’s therapist could help you out with.

Depending on what the nature and degree of your relational distress is, a couple’s therapist could help you with anything from mending the broken to closing things with civility. It really depends on what you come in with and where you and your partner want to go from there.

What a Therapist Won’t Do

As we mentioned in another piece we published, therapists do not come with a pre-set agenda. The closest thing to an agenda that a therapist could have, if at all, is to help their client’s achieve some form of emotional and relational wellbeing.

So how exactly and with what can a couple’s therapist help you out with?

5 Things a Couples Therapist Could Help You Out With


In many cases, the deterioration in a relationship ties in directly with deterioration in communication. We sometimes do not lay enough emphasis on communication in the earlier stages of a relationship as it is part and parcel of the excitement of a new connection.

As time within the relationship elapses, we might make less of an effort to communicate with our partners and significant others.

We tend to take for granted the robustness of the relationship as it stands. This however is detrimental as it is usually post the honeymoon period when the real relationship begins to form and set. Communication during this time (and other times of turmoil, stress or concern) is crucial.

A competent couple and relationship therapist will not just help streamline the communication between you and your partner. They will equip you with techniques and skills to ensure productive communication even in their absence during your own time.

Trigger Identification

Another thing a couple therapist will help you identify are emotional triggers existing between you and your significant others.

When unidentified and un-communicated, such triggers can create much unpleasantness between two people. Reductively speaking, what it could look like is one member of the couple constantly over reacting, the other swinging between bewilderment and irritation with regard to why!

Identifying triggers in the safe therapeutic space provided by a couple’s therapist and working through or around them is a great way to address, accept and do away with various triggers.


A couple’s therapist can help you empathize and understand your significant other (if that is where you’re lacking). We all possess a degree of empathy, but sometimes, with the best intentions we fall short. This is especially so with people close to us.

A therapist can provide two partners the space to safely get a sense of where the other is coming from. Without the therapist, chances are defensiveness would get the better of one of the partners. A therapist helps keep the space clean so that you can hear your partner without making it about you. This in turn helps you provide the needed empathy.

Processing What Is Hard to Process

Sometimes we experience or do things that stick with us as well as others. We’re not talking about good things here. This is more along the lines of nasty fights, infidelity, verbal abuse and repeatedly not coming through for our loved ones.

At times, these damages become hard to process and let go of. We cling to them and they continue to poison our relationships long after the transgression or crime has passed. With certain cases where regular abuse is present, there might be other steps required by way of healing, including separation.

This being said, sans regular abuse or serious risk, a couple’s therapist is well equipped to help you and your partner, process any unpleasantness that might have taken place between you two.

Keeping things Smooth

Even if you and your partner are not victim to massively dramatic blowouts, altercations and disagreements, a couple’s therapist can help you keep things smooth.

Here we’re talking the general navigation of your relationship as it evolves, which it will. The therapist here is a great person to help you and your partner grow. They will also offer support and help you take steps that will ensure your relationship develops in a healthy fashion and thrives for as long as the two of you want it to!

These are just a few of the things a professional couple’s therapist could bring to your table. If you’re looking for a therapist offering couples therapy, marriage counseling in Palo Alto, we would love to help!

We offer relational therapy, family meditation, and therapy to those suffering from depression and anxiety. Give us a shout or visit our webpage for your options.

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