About 50% of marriages end in divorce or separation in the US.
The most common reasons for failed marriages are conflict and disagreements, lack of commitment, and infidelity.
Relationships are complex, but marriages can be way more challenging, even with the right partner. Most successful marriages require the skills to deal with difficult and conflicting situations while allowing the couple to grow rather than falling apart.
If you think you’re ready to tie the knot, here are four things to discuss to be fully prepared.
Be Clear About Your Past
Sometimes your past can have a prominent effect on your future. It’s always best to lay the foundation of your marriage by having your spouse in confidence about anything you’re uncomfortable with.
This allows you to grow a healthy and strong bond.
Disagreement Over Future Goals
One of the most significant factors leading to arguments and conflicts in married couples is future aspirations.
It always seems easy to assume that you’re on the same page until issues begin to arise. Have a detailed discussion with your partners about their plans for the next five years – big or small.
If there is any bit you’re not comfortable with, it’ll allow you time to work it out beforehand. Premarital counseling will help you resolve these issues rather than feeling imposed after marriage and feeling frustrated and stuck.
Children
As counseling therapists, we cannot emphasize enough about TALKING ABOUT KIDS.
How many kids do you each want to have? When do you plan to have the first child? How many years apart do you wish to have the other children? How to raise them? How included will each parent be in the child’s life?
These questions are ESSENTIAL to know whether both of you want similar things or not, and again, it allows you to prepare for any differences.
Commitment to One Another
When two people start living with each other, it can be easy to start taking one another for granted because you’re there all the time. Things you appreciated earlier may not seem like a big deal now.
Discuss the deal-breakers that are not up for negotiation for each other. Some people require space to function, while some require frequent intimacy, and everyone wants appreciation.
This will allow you to remember these things when things get difficult and prove your commitment by working for each other.
No two couples are the same.
What’s okay for you might not be alright with your partner. Some of the answers to these questions can be beyond your expectations, causing stress and anxiety and making you feel like it’s all falling apart. But it’s not.
Everything is okay, and we are here for you. Contact Silicon Valley Marriage Counseling for premarital counseling in Palo Alto with one of our best premarital therapists.
We will help you build the stronger and healthier marriage you dream of.
Visit our website for more information.
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