Our intimate relationships are the stuff that can make or break us. They influence our lives, our emotional wellbeing and are powerful enough to lift us up and bring us down.
Relationships are a two way street which is why the better the two individuals in the relationship are at navigating a space, the greater the chances of it thriving and being beneficial.
Just the way there are things that benefit our relationships, there are those that do them harm. We’re going to discuss nine things that can dent, undermine and tear down a relationship if not navigated properly or avoided altogether.
Violence
Whether physical, verbal or both, violence is terrible for a relationship. It takes away the sense of safety one partner feels with the other and adds fear and other negative emotions to the relational frame of reference.
Even if the suffering partner stays within the domestic arrangement (out of fear), the positive intimacy as it were is effectively lost.
Money Troubles
Misunderstandings, mismanagement, and mistrust with relation to money can often do quite a number on relationships. Some examples include one partner being an unapologetic financial burden on the other or on the flipside, being unjustifiably financially controlling. In any case, problems relating to money can do a lot of damage to any relationship.
Mismatched Sexuality
Another thing that could make a mess of a relationship is a mismatched sex drive and failure to make the effort to bridge the gap. Issues relating to sexuality that are relationship killers include one partner depriving the other of intercourse, having a sexual appetite that the other in question cannot keep up with and so on.
Reluctance towards sexual exploration as well as over enthusiasm (being pushy) are also among examples of issues relating to sexuality. A lack of sexual compatibility can really damage a relationship over time.
Disrespect
Disrespect within a relationship is like slow poison. It may be overlooked or forgiven earlier on but eventually it will attack a relationship at its roots and tear it down. Respect is something relationships are built on.
Treating a partner badly, putting them down, being nasty and impolite over time wears the affection down to a point where it is nonexistent. Constant mockery and not taking someone seriously more often than not can also be considered to be a form of disrespect.
Stagnation
Any and all relationships take a degree of effort. Sure there are periods where good things come easy. This does not mean that when things stagnate they should be left that way. Healthy relationships take work and require both parties to be proactive.
The very best of relationships go through periods where couples might need to overcome obstacles, deal with challenges, work on communication or simply spice things up. Not doing so time and time again and letting go so to speak results in stagnation which eventually ends the love and kills the relationship.
Lying and Infidelity
If you’re in a relationship with someone and need to lie to them, maybe you’re not in the right relationship. Alternatively, maybe you’re not just very honest which is just as much of a problem. In any case, lies are eventually found out. This is especially if you’re living with your partner and that results in a loss of trust. As you already know, trust is the corner stone of any relationship and losing it is tantamount to losing the intimate bond altogether.
Infidelity is another extreme which can be related to lying as the two go hand in hand. Infidelity in particular has the potential to ruin a relationship overnight as does violence.
Inadequate Communication
Strong communication is extremely important for any relationship. Communicating with your partner about everything from how your feeling to day to day mundanities is what helps move things along.
A failure to communicate to your partner properly or an inability to can eventually lead to the deterioration of the bond you share.
Contempt
This one is deadly and is sometimes not evident at first glance. If one partner has it in their heads that they are better than the other, even if they tick all the boxes, this will eventually surface. Contempt whether overt or covert will manifest in ways such as taking the other in question for granted. Such behavior is known to end relationships eventually.
Work-o-holism
Don’t get us wrong. Careers are important! This being said, so is balance. If individuals in a relationship are unable to find a balance between their professional and personal lives, the scales can sometimes tip.
In the long run, the individual being neglected at behest of the career usually chooses to pull away.
Having children you are not ready for and attending to your children all the time at the expense of your partner can also dull the love!
What Could Help?
You might be struggling with one of more of the things mentioned above and may be wondering what could help. Fortunately, most of the problems and complications mentioned here are the sort you could address and overcome.
One way to do this is to seek marriage counseling or couples therapy. This would help you navigate relational milestones and find the healthiest path forward for you and your partner in any case.
If you’re located in Palo Alto and are in search of a therapist, feel free to connect with us right away!
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