You thought you’d finally found your soulmate—only to find out that they’re asexual. What do you do now?
Asexuality is sometimes referred to as ace; people who are asexual feel little or no sexual desires, even to partners they may connect to emotionally. Their lack of desire causes all kinds of complications in their sexual relationships.
So, what can you do when you find out your partner is asexual? Let’s take a look:
Can Asexual People Have Sex? Does This Nake a Husband and Wife Sexually Incompatible?
The idea of being with a partner who isn’t sexually attracted to you is challenging to stomach for anyone, but forcing them into having sex isn’t going to do you any favors.
Some individuals who identify as asexual don’t have any sexual desire or sexual attraction whatsoever. Some people are indifferent to the idea of sex while others are repulsed by it.
Forcing an asexual partner who isn’t comfortable with having sex can be devastating for relationships—and wrong!
For you and your partner’s emotional well-being, you will have to decide whether you want to remain in such a relationship. If yes, you must determine how to meet each other’s needs.
Decide Whether You’re Willing to Stay in a Sexless Marriage
Being celibate is a choice; asexuality isn’t. Contrary to what people think, asexuality isn’t a “condition” that needs to be fixed. Being accepting is the key to understanding your partner’s asexuality, and it does not necessarily mean you are not sexually compatible. Azizeh E. Rezaiyan is an experienced sex therapist and can help you work through potential roadblocks in your relationship.
People can become asexual due to some form of trauma in their lives, but many people asexual people are born that way—and that’s perfectly fine! Asexuality is a type of sexual orientation; it’s the same as being straight, gay, or bisexual.If you’ve decided to stay in the relationship and remain celibate, think of how you can make it work despite your sexual incompatibility instead of trying to change your partner.
Avoid Pressuring Your Partner
Your partner is already living with the fact that they are different from most people; they don’t need you to make matters worse by pressuring them into doing something they aren’t comfortable with.
When you’ve decided to stay in the relationship, accept your partner for who they are and quit blaming them for something they can’t control!
Why is Sexual Communication Important in Relationships?
If you’re going to make this work, you’re going to have to communicate openly with your partner about your sexual needs and how they can be met. In the meantime, you’ll also have to set boundaries to ensure your partner is never uncomfortable with you.
Exploring Paths to Understanding and Connection in an Asexual Relationship?
If you’re grappling with the complexities of a relationship where your partner identifies as asexual, it’s crucial to approach the situation with understanding and compassion. Recognizing and respecting your partner’s asexuality is just the first step. Exploring professional couple therapy can be incredibly beneficial for more in-depth support and guidance.
At Silicon Valley Marriage Counseling, Azizeh Rezaiyan, a licensed marriage and family therapist with extensive experience, offers specialized couples therapy to help you navigate these unique challenges, such as depression or anxiety. Whether it’s working through sexual incompatibility, improving communication, or addressing any underlying issues, you’ll find a supportive environment to explore these aspects of your relationship.
Consider scheduling a free 20-minute consultation to discuss how therapy might benefit your relationship. You can learn more about the power of marriage counseling here. To understand more about the comprehensive therapy services offered, including for couples facing unique challenges like intimacy, check out this section.
Remember, every relationship has unique dynamics, and seeking professional guidance can give you the tools and understanding needed to build a healthy, fulfilling partnership.
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