When you marry your spouse, you also get introduced to a new family. And while everyone hopes to get along well with their in-laws, conflicts every now and then are also expected!
With the current state of the economy, many couples have had to downsize or move back to their hometown to make ends meet. And while you adjust to your new living situation, here are some tips to make your relationship with your in-laws smooth sailing!
Be On The Same Page With Your Partner
The only way to ever tackle a problem together as a couple is to communicate effectively. Instead of making decisions on how to talk to your in-laws, it’s crucial that you discuss it with your partner so you have support for every step you take.
Your spouse is probably more emotionally attached to their parents than you are, so it’s essential to navigate solutions and boundaries that everyone is comfortable with. Don’t put your partner in a situation where they have to choose between you and their parents, since ultimatums are a red flag!
No one likes having to abide by rules, especially if they don’t benefit from them. However, rules are a great way to promote peace in any situation; however, instead of having unspoken rules, it’s best to communicate them clearly.
Sit your in-laws down and explain the rules you would like to introduce in the household. This could be anywhere from how often they can barge into your room for a favor to how much of a say they have in parenting your child.
And once you’re done, make sure to extend them the courtesy to establish ground rules as well. This way, everyone feels heard and acknowledged, and there are no hard feelings!
Once boundaries have been established, you will be met with the most challenging stage: ensuring the rules are followed! It might take some time to adjust to the new set of rules, but it’s important to remind your in-laws that the rules are here to stay.
If you ever find them overstepping your boundaries, politely (but firmly) remind them of the discussion you’ve had and how this is a breach of your verbal agreement. Be patient, but remind them that their disregard is not welcome. Soon enough, they’re bound to realize that you mean business!
On the off chance that they don’t, it’s equally important that you don’t lose your cool. It can get frustrating to reiterate your boundaries constantly, and there comes a time when professional intervention becomes necessary. For family and relationship counseling in Palo Alto, get in touch with Silicon Valley Marriage Counseling. The counseling center provides expert mediation and conflict resolution sessions for troubled families. Contact them today to book an appointment!