Not being able to communicate effectively is a soft-skill that you might be missing out on and one that can become a hindrance in your daily life.
Whether it’s an inhibition to set boundaries with co-workers or feeling frustrated in your relationships and friendships, the inability to communicate properly can hold you back.
Statistics show that 42–45% of first marriages end in divorce, with the average length of the marriage ending in divorce to be almost a decade long.
It’s almost alarming that a union that long can end in divorce so frequently, all because partners struggle to have a conversation where they can both listen and be heard.
What does bad communication mean?
Most of us tend to get defensive about our lack of communication skills. And this is not exclusive to not being able to hold up a conversation.
Bad communication looks like the following habits that you need to work on breaking.
Not looking the person in the eyes
In the professional realm, this shows that you’re not confident in your abilities and won’t be able to take initiatives.
In personal relationships, this means that you’re being dishonest or secretive.
It can be hard to build your trust with a partner or open up to them, another reason for failed relationships.
Not listening actively
There’s a monumental difference between simply listening to someone talk for the sake of waiting for your turning to speak and really engaging with what they’re saying.
This can be hard to do for someone you don’t care about or when you’re not interested in the topic of conversation, but practicing this with the people you love is important.
Imagine being able to speak your heart out to someone and have them reciprocate by doing the same.
Interrupting another person
Most of us were taught this when we were children, to not interrupt someone and let them finish before you say something.
However, many of us become impatient and forget this important lesson, especially when arguing with a partner.
Interrupting your partner when they talk can cause more frustration to them because you’re not hearing them out.
The desire to interrupt can come from a place of insecurity and fears and that’s something you need to work on becoming conscious of, when communicating.
Remember, that arguing is not communication and the latter is a skill that we can all work on at any point in our lives.
Bad communication skills can be one of the reasons why so many long term relationships wither in the long run. You can try availing marriage counseling or premarital counseling services to help you talk about your feelings openly and honestly.
For marriage counseling in Bay Area, get in touch with Azizeh Rezaiyan at Silicon Valley Marriage Counselling. Call (650) 206-9973 to schedule a free 20-minutes consultation.