You’re in love, happy, and excited to start this new chapter of your life—and when you’re this love-drunk, it’s easy to let a lot of things slide. But it’s equally important to have those difficult, uncomfortable conversations too.
The foundation of a solid and fulfilling relationship is your ability to work through problems and concerns together as a team—and making sure you’re on the same page before you commit helps. Here are some things all couples should discuss before saying “I do”:
Discuss your debt and financial health
You should be clear and open about your debt and financial situation with one another. Knowing where your partner stands on that front and how they’re going to manage their debt, what your collective debt would be like, and how you’d be dividing finances are all important matters to discuss. You’ll find that it’s more effective to sort out your finances before committing long-term.
Address kids, parenting, and role division
It’s important to talk about whether you want kids, the number of kids, caretaking duties, and how you’re going to raise them: Would you split duties and responsibilities between yourselves? Will you invest in childcare or be stay-at-home parents? How you’ll divide work and finances while raising them?
Draw personal and emotional boundaries
It is important to establish personal and emotional boundaries with your partner: What are your preferences for pastimes? How you’re going to give each other space? What are your expectations from each other going forward?
Couples should have healthy emotional boundaries and discuss what their needs are. Open communication is the secret to a successful healthy relationship in the long term. It may take time to develop, but it’s important to get to that stage.
If you’re looking to work with a therapist who understands the complexities of human relationships and sexuality, reach out to us. Azizeh E. Rezaiyan is one of the best marriage counselors in Palo Alto, heading our counseling and therapy services. Contact us today to know more about our work and how we can help you improve your relationship and marriage through our premarital counseling.