So you’ve managed to stick it out with your spouse for several years now? Everything should be smooth sailing from now on right? Wrong!
In the US the average marriage lasts 8 years; despite being married to each other for 8 years, couples tend to drift apart with time.
Here are some common problems married couples face:
1. They Become More Like Roommates
Everything is exciting at the beginning but as time goes by, couples tend to start living like roommates instead of romantic partners. As years go by, couples have to put in more effort to keep the spark alive—and that’s where many struggle.
All too often, couples tend to get consumed with their daily lives and start to take each other for granted. You don’t want your partner to become just someone you share the room with. You need to remind them and yourself of their significance in your life.
If you’re at a point where you’re bored of your life with each other, then consider seeing a marriage counselor to help you get through this rough patch before things go to a point of no return.
2. Their Sex Life Is Dull
Couples that are drifting apart often complain about elongated sexual dry spells. There are many reasons to why a couple may not be having the sort of sex they used to at the beginning of their relationship. These include having kids, mental health, use of medication, stress, being overworked, etc.
Having dips in your sex life as a couple is natural, but not taking steps to get back on track is troubling. Eventually, both partners will get disconnected and feel rejected.
Want to bring back sexual intimacy in your relationship? Consider seeing a sex therapist with your partner.
3. They Aren’t As Tolerant As You Used to Be
At the beginning of a relationship, you’re more willing to overlook your partner’s bad habits and the silly mistakes they may make. But once you’ve spent a significant amount of time together these bad habits and mistakes aren’t as easy to ignore. You aren’t as tolerant of your partner as you were before and are more willing to criticize their behavior.
While it’s good to be open about things that bother you, excessive criticism will only annoy your partner and may push the two of you apart.
4. They Forget How to Have Fun
When a marriage gets boring, it becomes harder to hold on to. With age, people forget to incorporate fun moments in life. The problem with letting things get mundane is that newness becomes more alluring—if your life with your partner isn’t exciting, they might start looking elsewhere.
Couples are supposed to enjoy spending time together, and for that to happen you need to make an effort to keep things interesting.
If you aren’t sure how to pull yourself out of the rut, consider getting couples counseling.
Azizeh Rezaiyan is a marriage counselor at Silicon Valley Marriage Counseling based in Palo Alto in the Bay Area. She specializes in couple’s counseling, family meditation, anxiety treatments, and other psychotherapy treatments.
Call (650) 206-9973 to book an appointment.