A couple about to kiss in front of a field

Are You Ready to Get Married?

A long history of failed relationships isn’t the only deciding factor for whether or not you can get married. Unless your relationships were not fruitful because you have commitment issues and a fear of intimacy — both of which can be managed with the right therapist if you’re willing to work on it. However, it also means you need to reconsider whether marriage is even a priority for you, or you’re just jumping on the bandwagon.

It can feel surreal when people you barely knew in college have settled down and even more of a shock when one of your closest friends decide to tie the knot. However, that doesn’t mean that maybe it’s the right time for you and that you should force this union with whoever is in your life. Often, marriage is about the right timing, finding the right person and feeling centered enough in your life to be able to invest yourself whole-heartedly in it.

There is no perfect marriage, and the “perfect” circumstances are a myth we tell ourselves when we don’t want to confront the reality — we’re just not ready for it. What does it mean to be ready for marriage, anyway?

Here are some signs that indicate you see yourself fulfilling the role of a good partner.

A couple taking marriage counseling in Palo Alto

You and your partner are familiar with your love languages

A healthy indicator of your self-esteem is that you love and accept yourself. Knowing your own love language allows you to be able to communicate your needs to your partner as well. You should also understand the best way to give love as much as you receive it.

You take a constructive approach to conflict

Conflicts are very common in relationships but it’s how you choose to resolve them and whether you’re interested in finding your way out that matters. Do you avoid conflict, or do you like to create it? Learn to pause and reflect on your actions.

You have been part of each other’s growth

When you and your partner have been through multiple ups and downs, and spent quality and quantity time together, you share a deeper and meaningful bond. Being there for your partner through ups and downs like losing a job or a loved one, or even being there with them through major life struggle allows you to grow and come closer together. If you’ve survived some of the worst moments together, marriage can be easy too!

Communication may seem like an arduous process, but it’s vital to sustaining healthy relationships and integral to a happy marriage. It’s also okay to admit that you need help working on your communication. Sometimes an objective opinion through relationship counselling helps. I help couples across Palo Alto, offering couples counseling and various services online.

Reach out to my clinic or give me a call for a free phone consultation.

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