Getting back in the game after a divorce can be incredibly challenging for people who’re filled with self-doubt. Divorce has a way of crushing your self-esteem, and the idea of getting into a new relationship can be nerve-wracking.
That being said, some experts believe that relationships after a divorce are usually a lot better than earlier ones.
Let’s look at some of the reasons for this:
1. You Take Your Time to Choose Your Partner
Now that you’re familiar with the pain of going through a divorce, you’re that much more careful about jumping into a relationship again.
This time, you’ll take the time to self-reflect and think about where things are going wrong. Many divorcees think of their first marriage as a wake-up call, something to learn from.
Now that you know yourself better, you’ll be able to go into your next relationship with greater self-awareness.
2. You Set Rules For Yourself
A part of knowing yourself better involves being aware of your limits. Because you use your past relationships as teaching moments, you can mend your ways for the next one.
For example, if you felt like you’ve been a pushover in the past, this time around, you’ll make it a point to make sure you’re heard and taken seriously.
If you made excuses for your partner’s bad behavior in the past, this time you’re more likely to set your boundaries.
3. You’re More Mature
With age comes experience and wisdom. As we mature, we become better at dealing with people who have differing views, and at resolving conflict.
In your relationship post-divorce, you’ll find that you’re better at talking things out with your new partner.
You handle arguments with maturity and will avoid making mistakes that further exacerbate the problem.
4. You Have a Blank Slate
Trying to reinvent yourself in a decade-old relationship where your partner continues to shame you for your past mistakes is near impossible.
No matter how much they love each other, partners often struggle to forgive and forget their spouse’s big mistakes. But constantly bringing up painful memories from the past doesn’t help anyone move forward.
In a new relationship, you have a blank slate. It’s much easier to reinvent yourself and be a better person than who you were in the past.
If you’re having a hard time moving on after your divorce, consider seeing a therapist who can help you make sense of the emotions you’re experiencing.
Azizeh is a reputable therapist based in Palo Alto. She provides a range of services, including couples counseling, therapy for depression, anxiety, and family mediation.
Contact her office for more information.
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