Recent research has established that trauma can pass down generations. In fact, trauma in parents may also change the biology of their children. Sometimes, these traumas pass unintentionally, while in other situations, it may be because the children are raised in a parenting style called “toxic parenting.”
Toxic parenting refers to parents’ parenting techniques that consist of all or some of these traits:
- Emotional unavailability
- Controlling behavior (imposing restrictions or invading privacy)
- Manipulative behavior (guilt or shame)
- Verbal and emotional abuse
These traits may lead to children developing unhealthy personality traits that impact them later on. Since this islearned behavior, children who grow up with toxic parents may have issues when it comes to attachment, confrontations, conflict management, fears of abandonment and rejection, and social anxieties.
Toxic parenting can significantly impact a child’s self-esteem, self-worth, trust, and may even crop up in marriages, personal relationships, and workplaces.
Unless the learned behavior from your toxic parents is unlearned, there are chances you may pass on the same messaging and patterns to your children, which is known as generational trauma.
Fortunately, anything learned can be unlearned. All it takes is one person to realize that they’re to heal and forge a different path.
Break the Cycle
1. Acknowledge Toxic Patterns
The first thing to do is acknowledge that what you experienced was toxic and unusual. For instance, you may have grown up experiencing neglect, but brushed it off as your parents being too busy. Similarly, children maybrush off parent’s/guardian’sphysical abuseas a disciplinary exercise.
2. Have a Support System
Your support system can be your friends, classmates, or cousins, or anyone else with whom you feel safe and comfortable. This support system can help you relearn or unlearn whatever toxicity you’re trying to heal fromand support you in your journey.
3. Go to Therapy
Recognizing that your childhood and attachment to your caregivers were based on toxic foundations can be an overwhelming for anyone; it might even shake you to the core. That’s why it’s important to see someone professional who isequipped to help you walk through your journey and heal from it.
Azizeh Rezaiyan is a qualified therapist who offers a broad range of therapeutic services that can help you in your wellness journey. She offers specialization in marriage counseling, couple’s therapy, relationship counseling, counseling for depression, and anxiety therapy and can help you deal with your issues in a safe and productive manner. Get in touch today to book a session and fill out the pre-appointment forms.