Infidelity is considered as the last straw when a relationship is about to end. When a partner becomes romantically involved with someone else, it comes with a lot of emotional stress. Those who suffer from such a betrayal become predisposed to depression, anxiety and general emotional instability.
In the unfortunate event that a partner discovers an extra marital, the effects can be devastating.
Although it may seem like it, it is not necessary that relationships may end. Although, it is not necessary that it continue either. It really depends on the partners to continue the relationship or not.
As with all things in life, when you find yourself at odds with a partner, the best thing to do is to talk it out. After all, no decision is taken without thinking about it and identifying reasons for an affair could help uncover issues that may be resolved.
When trying to figure out whether you wish to continue with the relationship, here are some questions you can ask yourself:
Are there any children involved?
If you have children, it’s important to consider their well being as connected to your relationship. Children from broken families internalize the conflict. It reflects in their behavior. Although it is possible to raise children as a separated couple, it requires drawing boundaries that is difficult to manage.
You must value your happiness against that of your children. It must be done with the full understanding that you can care for them, if you are stable and well-off on your own.
Will the relationship be the same?
The straight answer is, it probably will not be. However, many couples find it in themselves to move on after one of them has an affair. If you choose to have a conversation to resolve your issues with your partner, ask if the relationship will improve after it.
Remember, you are an individual outside of the relationship. If you feel that trying to clear up any underlying causes of the infidelity will cause your more harm than good, then you can let go. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Should you give them another chance?
Odds are, that your partner will apologize after they’ve found out or come out to you. In the face of this apology you ought to carefully consider if you want to try this again. For some people, the realization is rather painful and continuing with the relationship is a long and drawn out process. In this situation, you must realize that you can cut ties with those who have hurt you for your own good.
It could be the case that you feel that you love them enough to still go on. If you still feel strongly about the potential of the relationship you two share, then by all means, go ahead you might come out closer than before.
At each of these steps, it would do well to remember that you will feel immense confusion. There are multiple people who will give you advice for how to handle the situation. In these instances, you should remind yourself that only you can tell what is best for you and act accordingly. If you find that making the decision is too difficult, perhaps consult with a counselor before making the decision.
Azizeh Rezaiyan is a Farsi speaking couple’s counselor. She specializes in family mediation, same-sex couples counseling and infidelity. You may get in touch with her for more information or an appointment at Silicon Valley Marriage Counseling in Palo Alto.