Growing Old Together

Growing Old Together: How to Keep the Spark Alive After Several Years of Marriage

Growing old with the person you love is a beautiful experience. However, things can go south if you start neglecting your marriage as the years pass on by. Romance and intimacy—both physical and emotional—is important at every stage to make your relationship a happy one.

How can you keep that spark ignited several years later? Here are a few ideas.

Surprise Your Partner

When you’ve been married for a while, surprises and spontaneity tend to take a back seat. Couples tend to slip into a routine, leaving little to no room for spontaneous fun and adventure. This can diminish the spark in your marriage and make your relationship appear dull and boring.

Make it a point to surprise your partner every now and then. You can cook a fancy meal for them, book tickets for the game, plan a date night on a weekday, take them out for a romantic drive after work, or get them a nice little gift as a token of your love and appreciation. Gestures like these, when done out of the blue, will not only surprise your partner but will also keep the romance alive. Be spontaneous!

Try New Things

When we indulge in new experiences, our brain’s reward system gets activated. This stimulates dopamine and norepinephrine, the two neurotransmitters that affect our mood. The production of these brain chemicals increases when we engage in exciting and pleasurable activities. As a result, you experience feelings of joy and elation.

This is why you often hear couples say they feel like they’re young lovers once again after they’ve tried out something new together. The thrill and pleasure caused by participating in new activities rekindle feelings of “early love” and allows you to experience romance similar to that of the initial days of your relationship.

Try New Things

Have Meaningful Conversations

Remember when you first met your spouse and couldn’t keep yourself from talking to them? You wanted to discuss everything and anything with them, from their hopes and dreams to their favorite food and even the weather! It was these conversations that kept built your relationship in the early days, when you were trying to get to know them better.

Why does this have to stop when you’re married? Even if you’ve been together for fifteen years, there are still plenty of things the two of you can discuss. After all, a person’s interests and opinions change with time and age. How familiar are you with the altering views of your partner?

It’s important that you have real, honest, and emotional conversations with your spouse even several years down the road. It allows you to stay connected with them, know what’s on their mind, and plan for the future. There’s nothing as refreshing than a meaningful conversation with the person you love!

Has your marriage been lacking zeal and intimacy as of late? Silicon Valley Marriage Counseling provides couples counseling, marriage counseling, and family mediation services in the Bay Area.

Make an appointment with us now!

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