An ex-couple avoiding eye contact

How to Minimize the Effects of Divorce on Children

Divorce can impact a child’s emotional well-being and behavior. If you and your partner aren’t cautious about your behavior and conduct, the child can develop trauma that can accompany them in adulthood.

The way you handle your relationships has a lasting effect on your child. Therefore, it is crucial to end the marriage on cordial terms and keep things civil between you two. The best thing you can do for your child during this time is to minimize the tension and conflict.

Here are 4 ways to minimize the effect of divorce on children.

Don’t Speak Ill of The Other Parent

Divorce is tough. We understand you’ve been in a stressful situation and finally found the courage to deal with it. However, never speak ill about the other parent with your child. It develops parental alienation syndrome that makes your children internalize the negativity. It could lead to psychological issues like self-hatred, low self-esteem, and lack of trust in future relationships.

Avoid Oversharing Information

Children are sensitive and don’t understand what most adults do. They don’t need to know how you’re dividing the assets, how much you are receiving for child support, and details regarding divorce proceedings.

Some well-meaning parents tend to overshare to avoid keeping their children in the dark. However, experts deem it unnecessary to share everything related to your divorce with your children. When they grow up, your kids can decide whether they want to know the details of their parents’ divorce.

Remember, your child is not your therapist.

Don’t Make the Children Pick Sides

For your child’s peace of mind, you mustn’t take things personally after the divorce. Avoid doing things that force the children to choose between their parents. Decisions like how much time kids will spend with each parent, vacations, and expenses need to be between the parents.

Children tend to develop loyalty conflict if their parents don’t get along with each other. Essentially, loyalty conflict occurs when two disagreeing parties expect a third party to take their side. It leads to problems like cognitive dissonance and an uncomfortable mental state.

Keep Things Civil

It is necessary to keep things civil for your child’s mental health. Don’t use your child to convey messages to your ex. Talk to them yourself through emails and messages. If there are unresolved disputes, you can consult a trained mediator to facilitate communication and reach a common ground.

A couple meeting a family mediator

If you are looking for an affordable Family Mediator to work out disagreements like child custody and distribution of assets with your spouse, connect with us at Silicon Valley Marriage Counseling. Dr. Azizeh E. Rezaiyan, a licensed Family Mediator, offers neutral guidance to reach agreeable solutions. With her effective mediation techniques, you can build a healthy relationship with your ex-spouse after the divorce settlement.

Contact us to schedule your appointment and learn more about our counseling services.

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