Not Just Friends: Recovering from an Emotional Affair

Finding emotional intimacy outside of your relationship with your significant other, which may or may not translate into a sexual affair, is called an emotional affair.

Discovering that you’ve been cheated on immediately results in feelings of abandonment, disgust, anger, and confusion. With so many feelings emerging together, it may feel like they could drown you. But don’t worry, there’s a light at the end of the darkest of tunnels.

If you’re in a similar situation, here’s something that can help you:

Remember; it has nothing to do with you

Just because your partner has an explanation of why they might have cheated on you, it doesn’t hold you liable.

For example, if they claim that they cheated on you because they wanted more attention and you were always busy with work, house chores, or the kids, you must remind yourself that this couldn’t be further from the truth.

You mustn’t hold yourself accountable for their actions and remember that your partner made a conscious decision to cheat instead of putting in the time and effort to resolve issues and conflict.

Remember; you aren’t the one to blame. So be kinder to yourself.

Let loved ones help you

In a difficult time likes this, it’s important to surround yourself with friends who love you, acknowledge your pain, and care about you so you can begin your healing process. A good friend will be able to lend you a shoulder to cry on, be all ears for your problems, and offer their support in times of need.

You may feel like you want to be left alone, which is a valid thing to experience, but it isn’t a good idea to isolate yourself. It’s a good practice to quit social media to distance yourself from the world, but you should still keep your friends close. 

Start your healing journey

In times like these, you may feel too overwhelmed to find the courage to get back to normal life. You may feel like your feelings are suffocating you, and there’s no way out of the rut. This is when you should seek help.

Don’t let another’s failure or disloyalty taint your perception of yourself. You owe it to yourself to heal with all the help you can get, and that’s where a professional therapist comes in.

Azizeh E. Rezaiyan offers  therapy for infidelity in Palo Alto, Silicon Valley, by the Bay Area. She’s an English and Farsi speaking therapist. She also specializes in couples and marriage counseling. Book an appointment online or call her at 650-206-9973 for a free 20-minute consultation.