It’s hard to forgive someone who’s betrayed you after you’ve given them your all. The partner who has been cheated on tends to obsess over past memories, desperately trying to find answers to what went wrong and why it happened.
Infidelity cripples your self-esteem in a way that makes it difficult for you to recover and move past. People lose a sense of self and feel worthless for the following months.
So how do you get past what has happened to you? How do you rebuild your self-esteem when someone you loved and trusted with all your heart has stepped out on you?
Let’s take a look:
Take Back Control Over Your Emotions
It’s difficult to process what’s happened to you. It’s unfair that your loved one put you through so much pain, but has much as it hurts, you must push past it.
At some point, you’ll have to stop blaming your cheater because if you don’t, you’re giving them too much power over you. You’ll have to decide how you’re going to overcome this. Will you be happier staying in the relationship or would it be better to end it?
Yes, what your partner did was wrong, but from this point on, how you feel is entirely up to you.
Identify Your Strengths and Values
Victims of infidelity struggle with feelings of worthlessness. They have to remind themselves that their identities aren’t determined by their cheating partners. They have control over how the world sees them and who they are as a person.
If you’ve been cheated on, take a good look at who you are and who you want to be. Remind yourself of your core strengths and values. Become your biggest cheerleader until you get back up on your feet.
We all have our unique set of skills and abilities; focus on showing them off to the world.
Have a Circle of Support Around You
Victims of infidelity often feel embarrassed by what has happened to them. Putting things behind you gets even more difficult when you’re the hot topic on the block; no one likes being in the center of gossip.
To counter the effects of all the toxicity around you, it’s important to have a circle of support around that you can count on.
Azizeh is a marriage counselor based in Palo Alto. She has the professional training to help couples and individuals to overcome infidelity.
Call (650) 206-9973 to book an appointment.