No person goes into a marriage thinking they will end up divorced or on its brink. According to research by Ohio State University, 80% of couples who decide to separate end up divorced. However, it doesn’t have to be the end. There are still ways to save your marriage and make it harmonious as you expected it to be when you got married.
There are some things you can do while separated that’ll help.
1. Stay In Touch
Being physically apart puts you at a disadvantage. You don’t know what the other person is thinking or feeling. That’s why you should keep a line of communication open. Separation is about keeping a distance from each other to reflect on your relationship, but spouses will become more distant with no communication.
2. Reflect on the Problems & Conflicts
When you’re apart and not overrun with emotion, it’s easier to reflect on the past and see where the problems started. This also helps you realize what you could have done differently. Although this doesn’t change the past, it does stop you from making the same mistake in the future.
3. Make Your Desire for Reconciliation Known
When you speak to your spouse during the separation period, don’t just ask how they’re doing. Use it as an opportunity to let them know your desire for reconciliation. What you need to remember here is not to be pushy.
Give them time to get acclimated to the idea and have the patience to hear their answer. You can genuinely reconcile when you and your spouse are on the same page. But to reconcile, one of you will have to take the first step.
4. Go to Couples Counseling
You might have heard someone say that counseling isn’t effective because it didn’t work for them. However, the statistics don’t lie. As it’s currently done, Couples counseling is 75% percent effective.
When you’re trying to work on your marriage so you can rebuild it during separation, having a neutral third party helps you better understand your own and your partner’s emotions. You’ll identify issues in behavior and have a better grasp on what should be acceptable and what shouldn’t.
5. Remember: Never Rush
There is no golden rule which specifies how long your separation should be. Rushing or being needy might make your partner hesitate in getting back together as they might feel pressured. You need to take it one step at a time
Relationship Counseling in Palo Alto
At Silicon Valley Marriage Counseling, the English and Farsi speaking therapist Azizeh Rezaiyan uses her 20 years of experience to help couples build healthier relationships and a better future together.
Azizeh, a trusted marriage counseling therapist in Palo Alto, has been helping hetero and same-sex couples find happiness in their marriage again for decades.
Contact us today to book an appointment for couples therapy in Palo Alto.