According to a set of statistics recorded in 2017, there are more than 60 million married couples in the U.S. alone. Do note however that this statistic is simply indicative of those legally married. It says nothing about relational quality, sexual activity or intellectual and emotional bonding.
The point of interest for us as far as this blog goes however, is sexual activity – rather a lack of. More specifically, we’re going to elaborate on sexual boredom.
What is Sexual Boredom?
Think about the 60 million plus married couples in the U.S. Do you think all of them have satisfying and highly active sex lives? If the answer to that question is yes, think again!
Where many married couples manage to maintain physical chemistry as well as enthusiasm with regard to engaging with each other sexually, there are just as many who do not. In simple words, sexual boredom is the point where you and your partner, well – just don’t really feel that inclined to sleeping with each other.
This can be due to a number of reasons but in the case of sexual boredom specifically, it does not necessarily tie into dysfunction in other areas of the relationship.
Why Does This Happen?
Sexual boredom often occurs between couples (usually married) who have been together for a long period of time. When the relationship is still young and the two individuals involved are rife with excitement and enthusiasm, the sex too is just as eventful and satisfying.
Further, sex at this stage can be quite organic and no is not an answer when it comes to sex.
As the relationship progresses and the couple spends more time together as well as has a lot more sex, things very naturally begin to simmer down. Sex might not seem as intense at times. At others one or both individuals involved might simply ‘not be in the mood’. If however a couple who was once enjoyed health sexual activity now finds that they are not in the mood more often than not; it might be a sign of sexual boredom!
Can It Be Overcome?
The thing with sexual boredom is not that it can’t be overcome. It’s that most couples simply don’t know how. What needs to be kept in mind is that anything requires a degree of effort and dedication. Our married sex lives are no different!
Putting in the work is a sure shot way for the couple to overcome sexual boredom and shift back into a dynamic where the emotional and physical are well in balance. This of course would make the relationship more fulfilling overall!
How Does One Overcome It?
As we said, you will need to put in the work. By work we mean a few things. Firstly, it helps to get creative or spice things up a little under the sheets when possible.
Try Something New
It helps to try out new things whether these simply be positions you might have missed out on or even the introduction of say a sex toy into the picture.
Extended foreplay (the sort you might have engaged in pre marriage) is also great to get the mood going. The trouble is many older couples tend to forego the foreplay as over time as humans, we do take each other for granted. Keep the foreplay alive and your sex life should thrive!
Talk about It
Communication always helps. Don’t make your sex lives a taboo! Discuss things with your partner, tell each other what works or what doesn’t and figure out things that would turn you both on and help move things along!
Couples Counseling and Sex Therapy
If you really feel stuck you can always see a couple’s counselor or visit a sex therapist to help navigate the situation better. This is particularly so for couples who struggle with communication or who find it hard to openly talk about sex because of cultural or social restrictions. Finding a marriage counselor who works effectively with sexuality is a great way to facilitate things between you and your partner!
In a Nutshell
Though sexual boredom can be quite disconcerting and can even cause trouble if unchecked, rest assured with the right effort, you and your partner will be back to being active in the bedroom! All you need to do is put in the work!