Relationship counseling seems daunting and scary, especially if you’re unaware of what therapy is and what to expect. Hence many couples don’t even consider the option because of a fear of the unknown.
There are many causes of divorce such as a partner cheating on you, or the birth of a child causing post-partum depression or other personal predicaments that can eventually create distance between you and your partner.
You might even feel like you’ve reached your wit’s end, it seems out of your hands to be able to save the relationship. Before you decide to pull the plug on it, it can help to consider seeking out an empathetic mediator to help you overcome your challenges such as setting personal boundaries.
Marriage counseling doesn’t always have to be the last straw. Even if you feel like you’re having a hard time communicating with your partner, a counselor can help you work on your goals individually and as a couple.
Here are some signs to look out for that indicate couple’s counseling is the way to go for you and your partners!
You’re not talking to each other…
A lack of communication is telling of unwillingness to want to resolve your issues. Or it could mean that you’re also afraid of conflict.
In either case, it’s not normal in a healthy relationship to actively and consciously avoid talking to one another.
Even if you both have extremely packed schedules, staying in touch and even non-verbal methods of communication are ways of exhibiting love.
…and when you do, it’s negative talk
All couples fight, it’s normal to have disagreements. But when you find yourself picking a fight about the most mundane things, it might be time to stop and consider if it’s about something more than what it seems like on the surface.
Your partner talks about breaking up
If you find yourself thinking too often about calling it quits with your partner of many years, and visualizing the scenario, it clearly means you’re unhappy.
You might even feel guilty for it, but you should still be able to share this with your partner in a way that doesn’t attack them but lets you voice your concerns.
You withhold affection
Some couples not only experience a dip in the quality of their sex-life but also find themselves withholding affection as punishment.
This is indicative of adopting the role of a parent in your marriage, and it can also be considered emotionally abusive.
If you find your partner doing this or find yourself doing this as well, it might be time to seek some professional insight.
If you’re looking for couples counseling in the Bay Area, reach out to Azizeh Rezaiyan at Silicon Valley Marriage Counseling with marriage counseling or premarital counseling services in the Bay Area. Call (650) 206-9973 to schedule a free 20-minutes consultation.