Dealing with heartache is tough on anyone, but heartache after being cheated on is one of the worst experiences anyone can have. It’s emotionally as well as mentally difficult to process and doesn’t just affect your relationship but also takes a toll on each of the partners individually. While the grief and hurt of the partner who has been cheated on are incredibly valid, it’s also okay if they want to stick around and work on the relationship.
But the question remains: To what extent is it possible to repair a relationship that’s been violated like this? Can you truly restore the trust that’s been broken?
Let’s delve into this further:
Both partners need to be on the same page about things
Before you move forward and embark on the journey of healing and repairing your relationship, both of you need to be on the same page. Till both partners—the cheater and the cheated-on—are able to reach a mutual understanding and agreement on what they want the future of their relationship to look like, there’s no moving forward.
Don’t shy away from difficult conversations and discussions
From the lack of intimacy to the changing dynamic of your relationship and the factors that led to the affair, a lot of conversation will need to be had, and many problems will have to be addressed. You may also need to talk about the details you will be breaking to your kids, family, and friends. You can even choose to remain silent and keep things private.
It’s possible to find a new system to work together
At the end of the day, if both partners are ready and willing to make things work, committed to changing your behavior and attitude, and open to staying honest and vulnerable, you will be able to find a place where you are more content with the relationship. Perhaps this is the catalyst you needed to come back stronger than ever. Either way, till you work and establish healthy boundaries, respect each other, and are wholly willing to move past it, it will not work. You will need a new system and fix the gaps in the old one, whether it means dating each other again, making time for sex and intimacy, dividing more chores and responsibilities, working on financial issues, or protecting your relationship from outside influences.
Azizeh E. Rezaiyan specializes in infidelity therapy, helping dozens of couples in Palo Alto repair and improve their relationship after incidents of cheating by either partner. Her services are perfect for couples who wish to work on their relationship and find a new, more balanced ground. Contact us today to know more about her work as an infidelity therapist here.